thewlisian_afer: ([me] the kind of angel i am)
And here's my last set of nominated films for this year's Oscars! The final two Best Picture nominees, one that earned an acting nod, a documentary, and one that's been recognized for its sound editing.





Winter's Bone (2010)

In director Debra Granik's unflinching noir drama set deep in the Ozarks, resilient teen Ree Dolly (Jennifer Lawrence) goes on the trail of her missing, drug-dealing father when his absence jeopardizes the family's safety. Her deadbeat dad has a key court date pending, and Ree is determined that he show up -- despite the objections of the insular Dolly clan. The film earned Oscar and Independent Spirit Award nods for Best Picture and for Lawrence.


This was like Deliverance meets The Godfather. And, despite the kick-ass strong female lead, still a bit of a feminist nightmare. But, hey, it's a movie set in the Ozarks, so whaddya expect? Actually, I think I've phrased that incorrectly. The movie's not anti-feminist by any means. Just the opposite, really. It shows this amazing girl struggling against the patriarchy of her world -- one critic accurately says the movie "turns the Ozarks into a science-fiction landscape, artfully blending the familiar, the esoteric (for those of us in major urban areas) and the flat-out bizarre -- and fighting to save her siblings and herself. I really enjoyed it. [Rating: 4 stars]



The Social Network (2010)

Director David Fincher's biographical drama chronicles the meteoric rise of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) from Harvard sophomore to Internet superstar, examining his relationships with co-founder Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield) and Napster founder Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake). Winning Golden Globes for Best Picture and Best Director, the film also racked up Oscar nods in the same categories and for lead actor Eisenberg.


The music was great. Andrew Garfield is cute. There was nothing technically unappealing. But this was a boring movie about nerds being assholes. And now I like Facebook even less than I did before I saw this. I have to admit, though, Justin Timberlake was pretty damn good. [Rating: 2.5 stars]



Animal Kingdom (2010)

When his mother dies suddenly, a 17-year-old boy (James Frecheville) finds himself drawn into the clutches of a diabolical criminal family, until a good-hearted detective (Guy Pearce) makes a concerted effort to change the boy's fate. Australian writer-director David Michôd's first feature-length drama won the World Cinema Jury Prize: Dramatic at the 2010 Sundance Film Festival.


I was bored through the first two thirds of this movie. Then it caught my attention for a little while, but I spent the last ten or fifteen minutes wishing it would just end. None of the performances struck me as especially great, not even the one that earned a nod from the Academy. I don't know what it was that didn't work for me. It certainly wasn't the story itself. I think the problem likely was that none of the characters really made me think or feel anything in particular about them. The strongest feeling I had was vague disgust for the kid's grandmother. [Rating: 2.5 stars]



Exit Through the Gift Shop (2010)

Filmmaker Thierry Guetta had been casually documenting the underground world of street art for years, but when he encounters Banksy, an elusive British stencil artist, his project takes a fascinating twist. Unimpressed with Guetta's footage, Banksy takes over filmmaking duties and Guetta reinvents himself as a street artist named Mr. Brainwash -- and, much to Banksy's surprise, immediately becomes a darling of the Los Angeles art scene.


I'm willing to admit that I could be biased here, because I love street art and I've been a fan of Banksy since before he became really popular. (Using my Banksy icon, which is one of my oldest!) But I thought this was a pretty fantastic little docu. It was an interesting story, filled with fascinating people. My only complaint is that I was sad when it ended because I wanted to hear more. [Rating: 4 stars]



Tron: Legacy (2010)

While investigating the mysterious disappearance of his father, Kevin (Jeff Bridges), techie Sam Flynn (Garrett Hedlund) lands in a beguiling computerized world of enslaved gladiators, where his dad has been living for more than 20 years. Joined by Kevin's trusted friend (Olivia Wilde), the father and son must journey across a breathtaking -- and perilous -- cyberscape in this 21st-century update to the beloved 1982 sci-fi classic.


I had pretty much no interest in seeing this movie, but I needed one more Oscar-nominated film for this set of reviews and so many of my friends have been highly enthusiastic about it so I decided to give it a try even though it's not "my style" of sci-fi. I'm really glad I watched it. I haven't seen the original but I still didn't feel confused or like I was missing any information. The action sequences were so much fun to watch. And the music was really great. So was Michael Sheen; he was my favorite. Nobody's surprised. XD [Rating: 3.5 stars]
thewlisian_afer: ([film] reels)
Looking through my movie review sets, I realized that I had enough for a post if I mixed and matched a few of the sets that didn't have any kind of theme going. I can barely even remember a couple of these, it's been so long since I watched them... Oops.





Scenes of a Sexual Nature (2006)

The aspects of love play out against the splendor of Hampstead Heath in this provocative meditation on sex and relationships from BAFTA-nominated director Ed Blum. On a perfectly sunny afternoon, seven couples go through the motions of everyday living and loving, including two gay men grappling with fatherhood and an aging husband and wife reflecting on their past loves. Ewan McGregor and Eileen Atkins head a star-studded ensemble cast.


There were a fair few bits that made me laugh out loud and Tom Hardy's character was kind of adorable. My mind wandered often, though, and overall I found this movie really forgettable. [Rating: 2.5 stars]



2081 (2009)

A short film adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut's Harrison Bergeron, 2081 depicts a dystopian future in which, thanks to the 212th Amendment to the Constitution and the unceasing vigilance of the United States Handicapper General, everyone is "finally equal...." The strong wear weights, the beautiful wear masks and the intelligent wear earpieces that fire off loud noises to keep them from taking unfair advantage of their brains. It is a poetic tale of triumph and tragedy about a broken family, a brutal government, and an act of defiance that changes everything.


This little film actually had about the same impact on me as the story did, which is really saying something. And that's ... all I can really say about it. It was a great piece of filmmaking and a wonderful adaptation from a piece of literature that had a profound effect on me as a kid. ♥ [Rating: 4 stars]



Havoc (2005)

The elegant Anne Hathaway takes off her Princess Diaries crown to play a wealthy Los Angeles teen who, along with her superficial friends, wants to break out of suburbia and experience Southern California's "gansta" lifestyle. But problems arise when the preppies get in over their heads and provoke the wrath of a violent Latino gang. Suddenly, their role-playing seems a little too real. Bijou Phillips, Freddy Rodriguez and Michael Biehn co-star.


This is exactly what it says on the tin. Rich, privileged white kids who think everything's a game and the hand they have is boring. There's barely a character who shows up on the screen that you won't want to slap silly. But Anne Hathaway is excellent (and often in appealing states of undress). So is Bijou Phillips, who I've seen in very few things and never taken notice of before. All in all, though, it was pretty typical fare and I wouldn't go out of my way to recommend it unless you're a fan of someone who's in it. [Rating: 3 stars]



Shadowboxer (2005)

In this audacious thriller, a nasty crime lord (Stephen Dorff) hires Rose (Helen Mirren) and her stepson Mikey (Cuba Gooding Jr.) -- assassin partners and longtime lovers -- to off his spouse, Vickie (Vanessa Ferlito). But Rose, ill with cancer and on her last job, spares her mark when she learns Vickie's with child. The unexpected twist forces Mikey, Rose and their charges to flee to life in suburbia, until the past catches up with them.


Helen Mirren was really good. So was Cuba Gooding Jr.'s butt. And Stephen Dorff plays an excellent psychopath. Overall, though, I wasn't impressed. Something just didn't sit right with me. I don't know if it was miscasting or just a lack of chemistry in the general cast or what, but it just felt kind of ... off. [Rating: 2 stars]



La herencia Valdemar (2010)

Nicholas Tramel is hired to investigate the dissapearance of a girl from a victorian mansion. He finds the house has secrets and a legend built on tragedy. Based on a tale by H.P Lovecraft.


There was nothing especially appealing about this movie in a technical sense. It's standard fare, not particularly well-written, no outstanding acting or music or effects... But it kept my attention and entertained me. Also, there were some really lovely Spanish men to look at! Heh. It ends on a bit of a cliffhanger and the second film was only just released in Spain a couple of days ago, so who knows how long it'll be before I can see the conclusion. Argh! If you can't handle waits like that, don't watch this movie yet! [Rating: 3 stars]
thewlisian_afer: ([film] reels)
My second set of movie reviews as I prepare for this year's Oscars! One more set to go after this. :)





127 Hours (2010)

From director Danny Boyle comes this harrowing tale of real-life mountain climber Aron Ralston (James Franco), who literally cuts himself loose from danger -- and lives to tell about it when sliding rock pins his forearm under a boulder during a climb in Utah. To stay alive, Ralston resorts to his basest survival instincts. The film scored Academy Award nominations in the Best Picture and Best Actor (Franco) categories.


I have to admit, I was pretty bored through this whole thing. Even when he was cutting off his own damn arm. Also, I didn't care for some of the director's style choices, and there wasn't really enough backstory to make me give a crap about the guy as a character. James Franco was really good, though. I do have to admit that much. [Rating: 3 stars]



The Kids Are All Right (2010)

Joni (Mia Wasikowska) and Laser (Josh Hutcherson), the children of same-sex parents Nic (Annette Bening) and Jules (Julianne Moore), become curious about the identity of their sperm-donor dad (Mark Ruffalo) and set out to make him part of their family unit, often with hilarious results. But his arrival complicates the household dynamics, and nobody is sure how he fits in -- if at all -- in this Oscar-nominated, Golden Globe-winning comedy.


Oh, the characters. I could spend days thinking about this storyline from the POVs of each different character and never get bored. Possibly my favorite thing, though, was Laser asking his moms why they watch "gay manporn." The explanation is hilarious but not incorrect. I really expected to have more of a problem with this film because -- I don't think this really counts as a spoiler -- Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo have an affair (which is depicted quite explicitly for a non-porn American film). I'm really not a fan of that particular plotline. But for some reason, it worked for me here. The character's whole sexuality wasn't erased and rewritten, and since she talked about the fluidity of human sexuality at one point, it didn't feel forced or uncharacteristic to me. [Rating: 4 stars]



Blue Valentine (2010)

Once crazy about each other, Cindy (Michelle Williams) and Dean (Ryan Gosling) have now grown apart. Cindy is bored and disenchanted with her life while Dean languishes in the emotional emptyness of their sexless, routine life in rural Pennsylvania. As they muddle through their marriage, they hearken back to the golden days when life was filled with possibility and romance. Derek Cianfrance writes and directs this drama.


I liked this movie a lot more than I expected. Actually, I didn't expect to care for it at all and I wound up ... well ... it's hard to describe how I feel about it. I watched it with someone and at the end, my response was something like, "...Huh. I ... liked it?" It was emotionally draining and there were a couple parts that were difficult to watch. It had a lot of moments that made me smile and even laugh but overall it's not an uplifting film. Nevertheless, there were some stellar performances and I liked the ending in the same way I like the ending of Annie Hall and a couple of the storylines in Love Actually. [Rating: 3.5 stars]



True Grit (2010)

After drifter Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin) murders her father, 14-year-old Mattie Ross (Hailee Steinfeld) hires alcoholic U.S. Marshal Reuben "Rooster" Cogburn (Jeff Bridges) to help her exact revenge. The disreputable lawman still has grit, though, and mounts an epic search. Joining the duo on their quest is a Texas Ranger (Matt Damon) who's also hunting for Chaney in this updated Western that received multiple Oscar nods, including Best Picture.


I liked this movie a lot more than I expected to, too. It always makes me a little sad to say that about things that I rate three stars, but ... there you have it. I found Matt Damon oddly forgettable. I'm not used to that. Usually even if I don't care for a movie he's in, his character sticks with me. But I think I liked Mattie and Rooster so much that I really overlooked everyone else. Anyway. I definitely wouldn't have picked it for a Best Picture nominee, but it kept me pleasantly entertained and engaged the whole time. [Rating: 3.5 stars]



How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

As the son of a Viking leader on the cusp of manhood, shy Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III faces a rite of passage: He must kill a dragon to prove his warrior mettle. But after downing a feared dragon, he realizes that he no longer wants to destroy it. So, he befriends the beast -- which he names Toothless -- much to the chagrin of his warrior father in this Golden Globe-nominated adaptation of Cressida Cowell's children's book.


Well, damn. I liked the story, the characters, the animation, the dragon design, the score... I could probably watch this movie about a hundred times in a row without getting tired of it. It just hit all my animated feature buttons. Everything was just perfect to me. [Rating: 5 stars]
thewlisian_afer: ([film] reels)
So, the Oscar nominations were announced on Tuesday. I've decided that I'm going to watch all the Best Picture nominees, all the Best Animated Feature nominees, and the few movies that weren't nominated themselves, but had actors who were. Here's the first five of those for me.





The Fighter (2010)

Mark Wahlberg stars as boxer "Irish" Mickey Ward and Christian Bale as half brother and trainer Dicky Eklund in this inspiring drama based on the fighter's rise from working-class Lowell, Mass., to world-class welterweight champ. After a string of defeats, Mickey rediscovers his fighting will with help from Dicky -- a once-talented pugilist battling drug addiction. Bale and co-star Melissa Leo won Golden Globe Awards for their supporting turns.


I'm not sure why I didn't have high hopes for this movie. I mean, I like boxing and I'm rather fond of this cast. I guess maybe because I'm not really a David O. Russell fan, and I put a lot of stock in directors. Anyway, I was very pleasantly surprised by this movie. It hooked me right away and didn't let me go until the end. I was especially impressed by Melissa Leo, who I've seen in very little before. She brought something to a character that could've been flat-out terrible and made her into a (slightly) sympathetic human being. [Rating: 4.5 stars]



The King's Speech (2010)

Britain's King George VI (Colin Firth) struggles with an embarrassing stutter for years until he seeks help from unorthodox Australian speech therapist Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) in this biographical drama, which received multiple Golden Globe nods, including Best Picture. Logue's pioneering treatment and unlikely friendship give the royal leader a sense of confidence that serves him and his country well during the dark days of World War II.


Oh, man. I might be biased but, to me, this film was pretty much perfect. I've only seen half the Best Picture nominees so far but I will be absolutely shocked if anything else makes me stop rooting for this one to win. It was fantastic to look at, I loved the music, every single performance was absolutely stellar... I have to say, though, Helena Bonham Carter was my favorite. ♥ [Rating: 5 stars]



Black Swan (2010)

In director Darren Aronofsky's psychological thriller, ambitious New York City ballet dancer Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman) lands the lead role in "Swan Lake" but soon thinks her dreams of stardom are threatened by a rival ballerina (Mila Kunis). As opening night approaches and the pressure to be perfect builds, Nina's obsession descends into paranoia and delusion. The film earned Golden Globe nods for Portman, Kunis, Aronofsky and Best Picture.


This was so ... Aronofsky. I mean that as a compliment, but take it as you will; he isn't for everyone. I really would like to see him get Best Director for this, though. Wow. The characters and the story itself didn't truly get their claws into me until probably about two thirds of the way through, but the whole thing was a directorial masterpiece. Truly excellent. [Rating: 4 stars]



Rabbit Hole (2010)

In this raw drama based on David Lindsay-Abaire's Pulitzer Prize-winning play of the same name, Becca (Nicole Kidman) and Howie (Aaron Eckhart) grapple with the realities of life eight months after the death of their 4-year-old son, Danny. Even with Becca's well-meaning mother (Dianne Wiest) offering comfort and weekly group therapy always available, the couple go about their own secret ways of coping. John Cameron Mitchell directs.


This movie gnawed on my heart and soul but ended up ambiguously happy and left me feeling bittersweet and hopeful. And that's pretty much my favorite way to feel during and after a movie. It's a really difficult story to watch but I found it ultimately very emotionally rewarding. And I know Nicole Kidman's the one who got nominations for this film but ... as good as she was, both times I cried a little it was Aaron Eckhart's doing. He was really fantastic. [Rating: 3.5 stars]



The Town (2010)

Career bank robber Doug (Ben Affleck) and his volatile partner, Jim (Jeremy Renner), hit a roadblock when Doug falls for bank manager Claire (Rebecca Hall), whom he kidnapped during their last heist. Worse, an FBI agent (Jon Hamm) is now trailing the thieves around their Charlestown, Mass., territory. Affleck directs and co-writes this smart, intricate actioner that co-stars Blake Lively as Krista, Jim's sister and Doug's troubled former flame.


I really am a fan of Ben Affleck as a director. Most of the time when I watch a movie by myself, it takes twice as long as it should because I keep getting distracted and pausing to do other things. This one caught my attention and kept it, though. Every single character was interesting, and the story's pacing was perfect -- never slow enough to bore me, but not so fast that it was difficult to keep up. I was also impressed enough with the sound work to make note of it while I was watching. Not something most people pay attention to, but I always appreciate it. Sound effects and the use of silence vs. music can really make or break a film sometimes. [Rating: 3.5 stars]
thewlisian_afer: ([film] reels)
An up-to-date list of the movies I watched for the first time in 2010:


1-161 )


162.) L.A. Confidential (1997), dir. Curtis Hanson
163.) Marple: Murder is Easy (2008), dir. Hettie Macdonald
164.) Van Gogh: Painted with Words (2010), dir. Andrew Hutton
165.) The Fall (2006), dir. Tarsem Singh
166.) The Santa Clause 3 (2006), dir. Michael Lembeck



*(This one should've been somewhere in the 60s. Dunno how I forgot it...)

books 2010

Dec. 31st, 2010 11:59 pm
thewlisian_afer: (Default)
2006 || 2007 || 2008 || 2009


2010 Goal: 50 new (to me) books. (No page goal; re-reads don't count.)

First-Time Books )

Book Count: 85/50


Re-reads )

[clickies]

Dec. 24th, 2010 12:06 pm
thewlisian_afer: ([celebs] martin - approval!)
News:

- "Sonic booms created by warplanes have made confused crocodiles crave more sex, it has emerged."

- "A motorist caught speeding in London two years ago moved to New Zealand only to be booked by the same police officer for again exceeding the limit..."

- "...a 71-year-old woman knocked a man who attacked her unconscious with her frying pan." HBIC, people. HBIC.

- So scientists say reindeer deliberately eat magic mushrooms to cope with long, boring winters. Those junkies...

-----------------------------------


Visuals and Other Fun/Interesting Miscellanea:

- Slow-Mo Cookbook

-----------------------------------


Numbered Lists:

- TIME's Top 10 of Everything of 2010

- 200+ Synonyms for "Drunk"
- 14 Celebrities Who Admit They Kinda Suck At Acting
- 10 Biblical Facts That Everyone Gets Wrong
- 10 Works of Literature That Were Really Hard to Write
- 10 Biggest Box Office Bombs of 2010
- 10 Great Pop Song Soundtrack Moments from Prime-Time TV
- 8 Weird Candies that Actually Exist
- 5 Forgotten Literary Vampires
- 5 Great 'Screw You' Moments in Popular Music
- 4 Weird Things Kids Loved in the 80s (I LOVED THEM ALL.)

-----------------------------------


Holiday (mainly Xmas -- sorry) Clickies!

- Bizarre But Clever Christmas Decorations

- 18 Quick Facts About Your Favorite Christmas TV Specials
- 10 Best Books to Give for Christmas
- 10 Sequels to A Christmas Carol
- 10 Strange Christmas Songs
- 10 Alternate Versions of "A Visit from St. Nicholas"
- 8 Holiday Specials That Ruined Christmas in the 80s (ahahahaha, my childhood...)
- 7 Fictional Holidays for Pop Culture Enthusiasts
thewlisian_afer: ([film] reels)
So, um... Since August or so, my media life has sort of revolved around Benedict Cumberbatch. I'm, um ... currently working my way through everything he's ever done (audio and visual) that's been recorded. So ... here are some reviews of his stuff!





Stuart: A Life Backwards (2007)

When Stuart Shorter - a homeless alcoholic with a violent past - meets writer and charity worker Alexander Masters, they strike up an unlikely friendship. As Alexander learns more about Stuart's complicated life and traumatic childhood, he asks if he can write his story and Stuart advises him to tell the story backwards, so that it's "More exciting - like a Tom Clancy murder mystery". As their remarkable alliance develops, Stuart gradually recounts his life story in reverse, his resilient personality and dry sense of humour giving the story an almost tragi-comic edge. Through post office heists, attempts at suicide and spells inside numerous institutions, Alexander is given a glimpse into a totally alien world and begins to understand how Stuart's life spiralled so badly out of control.


So, I got my paws on a copy of this because I wanted to see more of Tom Hardy's work. By the time I got around to watching it, I was all about Benedict Cumberbatch and was like, "TOM HARDY WHO?" But it was less than fifteen minutes into the movie and Tom Hardy had completely won me over again. What a performance. He was so good and he and Benebatch had such wonderful screen chemistry. I was absolutely amazed by how I could be laughing so hard it hurt one second and then the next it felt like my heart was about to break. Really excellent stuff. And I want to read the book now, too. [Rating: 4 stars]



Hawking (2004)

Hawking stars Benedict Cumberbatch as the young Stephen Hawking who, as a bright and ambitious 21-year-old PhD student at Cambridge University, is diagnosed with the debilitating motor neurone disease and given two years to live. Against the odds, he goes on to achieve scientific success and worldwide acclaim, in particular with his best-selling book A Brief History Of Time.


I may be biased here because I'm a long-time Stephen Hawking fan (I think I was about eleven when I "discovered" him) and a recent Benedict Cumberbatch fan but I really liked this. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm biased because the only really solid reason I can come up with for recommending it is "It's awesome people playing awesome people. What more could you want?" John Sessions is in it, too, and I love him. And Adam Godley and Tom Ward's fantastic ears deserve separate credit. ♥ [Rating: 4 stars]



Amazing Grace (2006)

Based on actual events, this historical drama from acclaimed director Michael Apted tells the story of William Wilberforce (Ioan Gruffudd), an 18th-century English politician who fought for the abolition of slavery. Despite staunch opposition, Wilberforce waged an aggressive campaign using boycotts, petitions and slogans to bring the British slave trade to a decisive end. Albert Finney, Michael Gambon and Rufus Sewell co-star.


What. A. Cast. Wow... And apparently I like Ioan Gruffudd. I had no idea; I've only seen him in about two things before and he never especially caught my attention. Anyway, as ever with period pieces, if you're a history buff or a costuming geek or a particular fan of one (or more) of the actors, I recommend this. You'll enjoy it. [Rating: 3.5 stars]



Marple: Murder Is Easy (2008)

While traveling on a train to London, Miss Marple is told by a woman she has never met, Lavinia Pinkerton, that she is certain there have been two murders in her village of Wychwood. When Lavinia dies in what is purported to be an accident - she fell, or was pushed, down the escalator in a tube station - Miss Marple decides to visit Wychwood and see what she can find.


I feel odd calling this "cute" because ... the resolution to the story is actually kind of heartbreaking. But "cute" is still the word that I keep coming back to. This is the first episode of Marple that I've ever watched and I think I might look into checking out some more of them. It's kind of fun stuff! And I was rather delighted with the cast. It ended up on my To Watch queue because of Benedict Cumberbatch, of course, but I was treated to Shirley Henderson and Anna Chancellor and Steve Pemberton. And Russell Tovey, who I recognize (because I love his ears) but have never really seen in anything else. XD [Rating: 3 stars]



Van Gogh: Painted with Words (2010)

Drama-documentary presented by Alan Yentob, with Benedict Cumberbatch in the lead role as Van Gogh. Every word spoken by the actors in this film is sourced from the letters that Van Gogh sent to his younger brother Theo, and of those around him. What emerges is a complex portrait of a sophisticated, civilised and yet tormented man. This is Van Gogh's story in his own words.


I really liked this. First of all, even with dubious facial hair, Benedict Cumberbatch is just plain lovely to watch. HNNNGH. But aside from that, it's also informative and presented in a very interesting way. Granted, I didn't know a whole lot about Van Gogh going into this, so I may be biased about how informative it is, but I think it's well-done and engaging enough that even if you're enough of a Van Gogh fan that you don't learn anything, you'd still enjoy watching it. [Rating: 3.5 stars]

[clickies]

Nov. 20th, 2010 02:15 pm
thewlisian_afer: ([misc] abe inna hat)
News:

- Men feel instantly relaxed and are less aggressive when they look at cooked red meat, scientists have claimed.

- A set of four-year-old twins in Canada can see through each other's eyes.

- Survey finds men have more than 60 words for their genitalia.

-----------------------------------


Visuals and Other Fun/Interesting Miscellanea:

- America's Best Donuts

- Nautical Slang in Common Usage

- The Origins of Text-Speak

- A Brief History of Bugs Bunny

- Seven former pupils of the Bronx High School of Science have gone on to win a Nobel Prize for Physics. I competed against Bronx Science a few times in high school. Never met a student from there who wasn't a complete douche. Just sayin'.

-----------------------------------


Numbered Lists:

- 20 Extremely Creative and Stylish Coffee Tables
- 20 Longest Wikipedia Pages
- 10 Ancient Methods of Birth Control
- 10 (More) Celebrity Veterans
- 10 Animals You Wouldn't Believe People Eat
- 10 Reduplicated Names (George George, Gordon Gordon, &c.)
- 10 Regrettable Christmas Toy Crazes
- 5 Ridiculous Cases of Movie Director Egotism
thewlisian_afer: ([books] hugh)
.





The Jerk
by Jeffrey McDaniel

Hey you, dragging the halo-
how about a holiday in the islands of grief?

Tongue is the word I wish to have with you.
Your eyes are so blue they leak.

Your legs are longer than a prisoner's
last night on death row.
I'm filthier than the coal miner's bathtub
and nastier than the breath of Charles Bukowski.

You're a dirty little windshield.

I'm standing behind you on the subway,
hard as calculus. My breath
be sticking to your neck like graffiti.

I'm sitting opposite you in the bar,
waiting for you to uncross your boundaries.

I want to rip off your logic
and make passionate sense to you.

I want to ride in the swing of your hips.

My fingers will dig in you like quotation marks,
blazing your limbs into parts of speech.

But with me for a lover, you won't need
catastrophes. What attracted me in the first place
will ultimately make me resent you.

I'll start telling you lies,
and my lies will sparkle,
become the bad stars you chart your life by.

I'll stare at other women so blatantly
you'll hear my eyes peeling,

because sex with you is like Great Britain:
cold, groggy, and a little uptight.

Your bed is a big, soft calculator
where my problems multiply.

Your brain is a garage
I park my bullshit in, for free.

You're not really my new girlfriend,
just another flop sequel of the first one,
who was based on the true story of my mother.

You're so ugly I forgot how to spell.

I'll cheat on you like a ninth grade math test,
break your heart just for the sound it makes.

You're the 'this' we need to put an end to.
The more you apologize, the less I forgive you.

So how about it?

[clickies]

Oct. 8th, 2010 12:54 am
thewlisian_afer: ([writing] schadenfreude proves unruly)
News:

- Man accidentally shoots himself in face while fighting off skunk

- Woman makes a superglue/eye-drops blunder

-----------------------------------


Visuals and Other Fun/Interesting Miscellanea:

- The Geometry of Pasta

- Rather Odd Alphabet

-----------------------------------


Numbered Lists:

- 10 Stories Behind Classical Compositions
- 4 Reasons The Twilight Zone is the King of Sci-Fi
thewlisian_afer: ([sherlock] everyone is proud of sherlock)
Title: Freak
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson
Word Count: 510
Rating: G
Disclaimer/Notes: Not my original characters. I'm not making any profit from this (or anything else) so please don't sue me. Unbeta'd.


The people he'd heard call Sherlock a freak, he realized, were never strangers, who were easier to ignore. It was always people who'd had time to get to know him. )
thewlisian_afer: ([sherlock] sherlock/john holding hands)
Title: Don't Leave Me
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, mention of Mycroft Holmes
Word Count: 700
Rating: G
Disclaimer/Notes: Not my original characters. I'm not making any profit from this (or anything else) so please don't sue me. Heard "Don't leave me," in my head in Sherlock's voice and spit this out in about an hour. Unbeta'd.


He's spent his whole life keeping people at arm's length, hiding his terror of abandonment by not allowing anyone close enough that he would actually feel abandoned when they leave. )

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